这几天我不上网，只因灵感来了，所以就拼命
拼命地写剧本，拼命地构思，拼命地翻查书籍参考
也许这是唯一一件我觉得我能那么拼命的事吧。
因为有了它我世界的时间也过得特别快。
不知怎的我最近都处于失眠的状态，
为了让自己能安眠我就拼命地运动让自己身体疲累。
当我累得全身无力躺下来的那一刻，
全身无力地放松。
我觉得……我需要开始给自己心里准备了。
虽然我看不到也不知道，但是我感觉到了
很快，也许再过不久最重要的就要离我而去了。
我什么都不能做，只能静静等待。
Guess I don't even what the hell I'm talking about.
There was a time a person asked: I don't understand why are you acting this way.
know what? I always knew the answer..
deep inside of me,
I wish for protection, I wish for happiness, I wish for strong
but all this aren't that familiar to me.
I pleased and pleased but no one answer me...
那一年小哥哥上幼稚园，奶妈送他去学校时，我就要一个人在家。
害怕，那时我除了害怕什么都不会
很黑，很暗，
那一年奶妈带着我一起送哥哥去学校。
一路上，跌跌撞撞。
我刚学走路不久，奶妈不会抱我的。
在我记忆里似乎从来没有被她抱过的画面。
跌倒流血真的很痛，可是那时候我不懂痛
我只懂我不用一个人，真的很开心
很多东西都是很身不由己吧
虽然是个女孩却买不到自己想要的娃娃。
因为家里没有男孩自己就要扮演男孩的角色。
爬楼梯抹风扇，爬树摘芒果。
我怕高，却有害怕的余地。
Afraid is a name of fear,
fear is a name of coward...
for everything I had been through,
I have no choice to choose..
everything seem had been set.
Just like a set of chess or like a novel that had its ending.
If i had a chance to choose,
i choose to be a coward.
at least i can be the one who be protected.
But for now...
I need to be strong. There is no one can protect me.
I might be ego in other's thought.
Just they don't understand me.
* A secret makes a woman woman.
all those secret, unspeakable secret.
the more,the stronger am i.
If i been given a wish to make,only one i will make.
neither to live happy nor freedom.
I wish I never been born in this world.
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