真正的朋友

也许是我人生经历不够
这次也许是我人生的最低潮
我不懂要如何面对
我觉得我自己需要的是肩膀  可是朋友们却说我需要的是勇气
这一次我完全不认识自己
我在hometown互相伤害是一种培养感情的方式
可是KL人都很认真  这就是我忽略的一点
我不知道我能做什么
因为不信任 误会 而导致怀疑
我慢慢的理解
只是有些事只有真正了解 真正明白的会体会
May Yin Yao Wang Eric Soh Wee  Shi En
有些事真的要真正知道才能明白
从来没想过的问题我也不会去解释
而不是不要解释
相信与否  不再我身上
相信我的人永远是爱我的人
他们不会一直和我联络
可是当我们相处在远方的同时，我们之间都牵着了一条隐形的锁链
会不经意地想起对方
在你真正需要安慰的时候出现
可以是多年不见一个从小一起长大的哥哥
人往往在低谷的时候只想到自己是孤军奋战
其实都只是我们的眼睛被蒙上了
就好像


may yin: 不开心的时候,想象我在那边一起陪你度过所有的难关......​. 姐妹永远support 你....
                    take care =) love, may yin ♥           
 Eric: 如果你真的懂得爱，就不是靠伤害自己来宣泄不知何去何从的压力！
一念天堂一念地狱！想正面一些。人生的挑战何其多！你都已经走过​18年了！还有什么是难得到你的吗？没有过不去的难关，只有不想​过去的自己。

Soh wee:  take care sis ♥

当然还有那个欠打的大哥哥winson

以后再也不会帮他 ><

Shi en:  I'm worry about you!

你最近怎么了? 千万不可以想不开! 相信我，凡事都有最好的解决方法。千万别因为一时的冲动，而做出以后让自己后悔的事。你有很多知心朋友，可以尝试询问他们的意见。别再喝酒了! 我相信你也知道它的不好。酒精只能让你暂时忘记，这是解决不了问题的! Take care!!!!!

一个一个打电话来骂醒我……一句一句刺痛我的心

让我知道我原来是那么懦弱的

从前的我已经消失了

只要付出过真心  做自己还是有人明白你

ah bon, joanne, kian wei, joey,calvin

我想哭想一个人的时候Ah Bon来安抚我

 

让我知道这世界还是有些人比我更惨的只是我没遇见而已

天涯沦落人……所以上帝要我遇见她

Kian wei&calvin……

男生难免很尴尬要安抚一个脆弱的女生

他们都等我平静了问我好吗给我另一种安慰

不体贴的安慰……

calvin:  You have to get out in some rain to find your rainbows..

他告诉我其实我不是一个人的

Joanne在我最激动的时候来给我一个温暖的拥抱和吻

我突然觉得我哭得很温暖

有一个可以让我平静的怀抱

Joanne:  meimei,be who u are and not what others want u to be..if they want u to change, it means they can't accept u for u...stay real and positive..this is life!!! jiayou:)

Joey sayang我

突然冒出的问题是……

我到底在伤心什么？

为什么他们可以那么关心我？

才那短短的两个月多

他们可以给的是一种我无法形容的安慰

我输在我不会适当的虚伪  傻傻坚持所谓的真诚

我怕自己变成虚伪

因为我看穿虚伪那丑陋的面孔

我喜欢坦白的友情 所有事实都应该是坦白的

我在乎别人的感受只是我不知道什么时候会伤到他们

我的世界是坦白的

我想做回自己

我要天天带着微笑去学校  我要我的世界是五颜六色的

适当的虚伪也是处世的一环!

这种世界原来那么丑陋

不管世界是怎样  我要知道的是一件事

我还有家要回   家里还有一个一直等待我的人……妈妈

一个永远爱我的人  会一直守护我的人

是在这世界上唯一我可以为她活下来的人

朋友们，谢谢你们及时的安慰

我不会想要再去喝酒  不会乱吃药了

如果我又在犯，请一巴打醒我

谢谢你们~我爱你们！=）

我可以不爱了吗？

有一种爱，明明是深爱，却说不出来；有一种爱，明明想放弃，却无​法放弃；有一种爱，明知是煎熬，却又躱不开；有一种爱，明知无前​路，心却早已收不回来。

 

我真的对自己的感情无话可说

我爱得太理智

爱得很无奈

是我失去了对爱的渴望

还是所有的感觉随着他的离去而消失了

为什么我可以那么的无情？

是没有去爱的必要还是我已经放弃了？

心碎的声音是一首凄美的旋律

不断的重复着那片段

我可以不爱了吗？

一些事，只配当回忆．一些人，只能做过客

很多事情发生了，我们只想逃避
当一个自己不喜欢的人喜欢上自己时，
逃避永远是我们第一个念头
没有拒绝，没有解释
选着不断地伤害……


曾经我也爱过……
也被伤害过，后来选着不断地伤害
只有这样才可以保护自己
毫无保留地伤害……
那些应该都是回忆，只是无法放下
除非找到对的人，那请问对的人，你在这里吗？
你是过客？还是……




我遇见你了吗？

Another part of me

Evrything just lost,lost and lost..............
i have no idea with what fucking things im thinking
or any fucking problem im facing...........
once problem come the only way i choose is always escape...
CAn any1 tell me the solution instead of leaving me alone to face it??
You are saying you are my friends,my lover?
I'm tiring of listening all that...........
who am i?
who am i to make u think that im x worthy?
who are you? who?
a shadow of mine? who only alwys under me?
just follow the steps of mine??




i wish that i can lost all the mind in myself..............
i wish that i can do whatever i want without obstacle......
i wish that....
i can back to him...i....
perhaps i will be much more better to be with him...
i shouldn't leave him~~

FIRST TIME MODELLING

yea,aren't i look cool? I am a model this time~~!!
but i have no idea with what of im doing ~~??
just follow the instruction~~


BROADCAST IS ROCK!!!!!

College life~

Interest with my college life? look at the photo,there mycoursemates! they are fish,may ling and moon~~

 we were doing our 1st role play~~ the process is funny~~

 after role play~~ all capture own photo like carzy~~

This is me and wenly~~ Aren't we look cute??haha

what done is done

yea,its been a long time i didn't update my blog.
well,i still feel lazy to update now either....
i really don't have the mood....i just don't know why.
Erm,now i am starting my college life.
everything seem to be different? or i should say more BORING?
with my expectation college life is so far away.
i also have high expectation which i should correct it.
stop dreaming what i should say...
but....i guess my future success is coming nearer now.
i just got 1 opportunity towards my success.
i got a chance to involve in broadcast short film!
i really need to thank my course mate for choose me as a part of it!
still i am not satisfied with some of the decision...
well,i know that i don't have the right to object anything...
so i try to accept it...even it will take quite a long time...
but what done is done i really don't want to create more trouble.
anyway,i don't think it is enough to upset me....=)
actually still have alots of thing happen...but i don't think i want to share here.
still pending!
private? not really...it just i not very sure with what is happening now...
i need some time............

no more....

For all of the time i tried to find any reason to make myself believe that you are still love me,
but how could i be so childish in this game?
Even i know there are something i dont know from you,
or you are hiding something from.
all i know for my past is it isn't a right time for you to accept it.
but now everything change...
till i know the truth...the cruel truth.
i don't believe what i heard...
all i believe is you and our past....
but.....how long could it last?
human...humanity....always change by the passage of time....
I didn't ask for turning back or what....
all I want is maybe a little request....which is you thought is uneasy....
which make me totally heart break....
i really don't wanna believe what i had heard...
i just cant control my mind of thinking of it...
all you need to know...i might no more the girl you know...
or the girl who............
just wanna tell u no more feeling on you...
no more missing you...
no more expectation from you....
no more....
no more your name as my password...

NO MORE I LOVE YOU

IN ALL THE CENTURY

back on me

met up v my old friends which i named them as my geng
haha,curious?
they aren't from malaysia.
well,people always asked why do i have so many different country friends?
i didn't reply,i don't think it is necessasary to reply anyway.
abit stupid to answer anyway.
they are not just a friends. they are more than that.
but no body know. the problems is who care?
i got my own ways to protect my friends just like how they protect me all this time.
they are just like always amazed me every time.
they know what exactly what i want like they can read my mind..
but of course sometimes i'm good in cover.
I'm an ordinary what? ordinary? not a right words to describe myself.
only 1 words suit me more....but i ain't telling it out.
I finding a "company" to "sponsor" my "life".
I ain't gonna be myself in this "company",but be the one who they want me to be.
what is really important for me? i have no idea.
like i have nothing to regret of.
you might care for me like you are really someone to me...
but do you ever think of know the answer from me?
if you really want to know,i can truly swear to you i will let you know the answer.
there will no lie from me to you. no matter who are you.
I choose to give up myself doesn't mean i lost my pointer.
i know what i am up to and i am choosing something which is no right.
no explanation just...I want it to happen.
On me,on myself like what they want it,i'll just give.
that's what i offer show who I will be.

AMUSED!!

Izzit when a lesbian turn back to normal will become more...MIANG?

oh...i felt extremely uncomfortable with that!! ill..YUCK!

i saw her (someone you know...) when im went to work afternoon just now.

she was walking with a guy silently...like thief...=.=

she used her purse closed her face maybe don't want to let anyone recongnize her?

or she SHY?? perhaps!!

Ill....i still recongnize her....=.=

she keep looking at the guy...

but the guy didn't look at her at all! haha

and the guy look like annoyed...LMAO

and the stories just end here...u might ask WHY?!

haha....because i cant stand any longer for the view~~

AMUSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

=.=...WTF

people worth a mistake

I really don't believe with what i watched, heard... I hope it is a fake.

but...fact is still fact. I must accept it. 

still no matter what happen,i had forgive him.

i would like to give him another chance to correct the situation.

I will support him in future.

on the right finger

Right hand and left hand has a different meaning.

Right hand little finger: No love.

Right hand ring finger: in love.

Right middle finger: dated other people.

Right index finger: singles.

The left hand little finger: does this.

Left ring finger: marriage.

Left middle finger: engagement.

Left index finger: Single.

The meaning of thumb represent the power, the meaning of self-confidence can do

So, i wish my loved 1 can put the ring on my right finger....=)

爱

      在黑暗中独坐，外面下起了一场雪，已经是十二月了，是冬天的降临。不知是我太糊涂还是多余，总觉得这个季节特别的寒冷。冬天不都是这样的吗？可是我却比别人多了一份孤单。听说有爱的人是幸福，是不会感到孤单的。对啊，我也曾经感受过它的存在。它是多么完美，使人无法不沉醉。每个人都有一段悲伤，想遗忘却忍不住回想。爱，对现在的我来说是那么的遥不可及，但还是一样那么的幸福。他离开了我是无法挽回的实事，但幸亏他没把这份爱给带走——   谢谢，爸爸！

      说不清的思绪又回到了过去，当时我还是五六岁的小毛头，很多事情还学不会，是爸爸耐心的呵护我给我依靠和安慰。很不幸地那一年的夏天他患了一个很罕见的病——葛雷克式症，又称渐冻人。这个病真的很可怕，爸爸的身体一天一天变得僵硬麻痹。医生说这种病到目前为止都还没找到妙方医治，他吩咐我和妈妈要多多给爸爸鼓励和安慰。他也希望我们可以做好心理准备。我和妈妈都很清楚爸爸所生的时间不多，可是我们都不敢告诉他，深怕他会看不开做出傻事。爸爸也很了解他自己的病情，但他却很坚强一直的安慰我们要我们别担心，在他面前我们都是强颜微笑，他也是面带笑容的欢迎我们。可是我们心里都有着一根刺插在心里，感觉很难受。

     那段期间我和妈妈都常常往医院跑，甚至留宿在医院陪爸爸。虽然这段期间很难熬，妈妈为了爸爸不断地蹦坡劳累，可是只要能和爸爸多相处再疲惫也无所谓。所谓∶“好花不常开，好景不常在”，某天早晨醒来时，爸爸突然发了疯不停地尖叫把病房里其他的病人都给吵醒了。他的尖叫声让人毛骨悚然，鸡皮疙瘩。我慌张地捉着爸爸的手，说不出一句话。那一刻我完全愣在那里，尽管爸爸使劲地大喊大叫，我仿佛完全听不到了……爸爸的手很冰冷，摸起来还感到一份刺痛的感觉，太可怕了。我看着爸爸，可是眼前的这个人怎么会是我的爸爸呢？爸爸长的很俊俏，身体非常健壮—…… 可是眼前的这个人身体变得很可怕，瘦得完全可以看到骨头和筋脉，冷冰冰的手和无光泽的皮肤，感觉好像是一具死体。

      过后爸爸被送到实验室检查，医生把他的衣服都脱光，然后把裸体的爸爸抱起放在一张可以乘重量的床上。当医生把爸爸放在床上的那一刻，床头的电脑荧幕出现了一排红色的字。妈妈顿时倒在地上崩溃地哭了起来，我很想安慰她，可是我无能为力，我连自己也说服不了眼前所看到的是事实，真的很不可思议。荧幕显示11.97公斤，完全比正常人的重量还要少。我走到爸爸身旁看着他那憔悴的脸，他却用那绝望的眼神看着我。那一刻真的仿佛有几千把隐形的到往心里插，我还是忍不住泪水在他面前哭了。我一直害怕的事情真的会实现吗？爸爸真的会死吗？

从那天起，爸爸已经完全放弃求生的意志。对所有事务不理不睬，不肯进食，还不时地乱大发脾气。但妈妈却没有因此放弃爸爸，她任劳任怨地付出。爸爸却完全毫不领情。不久过后，我们就不想的语言障碍也产生了。这样的情况真的很让人心疼，妈妈也整天以泪洗脸。而我只能站在一旁观看，什么都做不了，只能祈祷爸爸可以平安度多这些难熬的光阴。终于有一天，最不想发生的事情发生了。爸爸尽然看不开，咬舌自尽。他满嘴都留着鲜血，我们发现得太迟了，医生也无法抢救。爸爸就这样离开了。

用情不住流水，爱比不爱可贵，爸爸给的爱是永远都没有人可以取代的。我永远都不会忘记爸爸会一直保护着我即使他已不再我的身边了。我已长大成人，一点点挫败，说历经沧桑，仍微不足道。你给的爱是那么强烈，让我的思念一直苦苦相随。妈妈就让我这个女儿去爱吧，不用担心我们了。安息吧！

I AM NOT A WEAK PERSON

WORKING IS NOT GAME,

DON'T EVER WANNA TRY IT....

WHY I SAID SO?

ERM..LET'SEE...

LIKETHIS?FACING PROBLEM ON WORKING?

GET SCOLD FROM KLIEN?BOSS?

 OVERPROTECTIVE IS MY STYLE..

AS A CHINESE,DIGNITY IS WHAT I PROTECTING ALL THIS TIME..

I DON'T WANT SURRENDER YET I FELTT HELPLESS

WHEN SOMEONE LOOKING ME DOWN I JUST FELT WANT TO PROVE TO THEM THEY ARE WRONG!

I MIGHT WHAT THEY SAID....

I KNEW MYSELF VERY CLEARY,I KNEW MY LIMIT

BUT SOMETIMES I AM JUST NOT WHO I AM...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT NEITHER...OK,JUST IGNORE THIS.

WELL,THIS WORKING EXPERIENCE HAD GIVING ME A HOPE...

NOT A HOPE OF CONTINUE WORKING HERE.

BUT A HOPE OF MY FUTURE!

I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I WANT,

I CAN FEEL MY PASSION IN MYSELF..

ITS BURING...KEEP CALLING ME,KEEP REMINDING ME

THERE ARE SO MANY THING WAITING FOR ME TO BE DONE!

WORKING HERE IS JUST A BEGINNING.

I AIN'T JUST GIVING UP RIGHT HERE...

IT'S A OBSTACLE OF SUCCESS!

IF I CAN'T BEEN THROUGH IT,

SUCCESS WOULD NEVER BELONG TO ME..

NO ONE KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING TO HAPPEN.

I MIGHT NOWHERE TO GO..YET I KNOW

ONCE I HOPING,THERE ARE STILL HAVE MY WAY WAITING FOR ME!